They'll Need A Crane
by Panda Hallows
Summary: SEQUEL!...to Birdhouse In Your Soul...Carly is off and married while Sam and Freddie deal with their relationship that could be crashing and burning.
1. Prologue

**Panda Note:** Hello everyone! It's me again. As some of you might remember I wrote a story called '_**Birdhouse In Your Soul**_'. This would be the sequel to that story. Now, this first part isn't the start of the story but the prologue. Chapter one should be up in a day or two. I want the first chapter to be all together and not a jumbled mess like it is right now. If you have no idea what I'm talking about and haven't read 'Birdhouse' I suggest you go to my profile page and read it. It's great to be back guys, I hope you like this sugary sweet little prologue! It was inspired by a writer for the **CSI** fandom, her name is **Chelles** on here. I suggest you read her stuff too, she's awesome!

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**Prologue**

_Freddie, Age 4_

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His little feet carried him over to a nice little pile of Ring Pops that his father and his best friend had been munching on. The two men were distracted by their wives, playing some sort of board game. He grabbed one off the table and went in search for his own friend, a little blond headed girl, who might not always be nice to him. He liked her though.

She was in his room, playing with his fire engine toy. He never understood why she bothered to, when her mommy would buy her dolls. She told him she'd rather have cars and soccer balls.

Her mommy didn't like that.

"What you want?" she grumbled, looking at the other four year old with boredom clearly evident on her face.

He shyly worked his way into the room, with the Ring Pop behind his back, slightly blushing as her brows scrunched up in confusion. She should have been used to his strange behavior over the short time she'd known him.

She wouldn't call them friends.

They were just two kids stuck together because their parents were constantly hanging out.

He looked like he wanted to tell her something, by the way that he kept bouncing on the tips of his toes.

"Marry me?" he asked, thrusting the ring out to her face.

"What's that?" she asked him, still confused.

"This is a ring." he stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What does 'marry' mean?"

"I saw it on mommy's shows. The man asked a lady to 'marry' him."

"You don't even know what it means!" she accused, giving him an irritated glare.

"Uh huh!" he defended, pouting out his bottom lip. "It's when you play house, like our mommy's and daddy's do!" he stated with a know-it-all air about it.

Sam hated being confused about simple situations, like this. It should make sense, but nothing was registering. Why would Freddie want to 'play house' with her?

"You're stupid." she said and stood up.

"That's not nice! Mommy says that's a bad word."

"Your mommy is stupid too." she walked up to him then and pushed him on his butt. After this act she exited the bedroom.

"Was that a yes?" he asked, not even bothered by the fact that she'd pushed him down.

"I guess, but you're the wife." she laughed, her head poking out from outside the door. He grinned and rushed after her, holding out the ring for her to take. She raised an eyebrow and snatched it, then shoved it into her mouth. "Playing house tastes good." she laughed and headed downstairs.

As much of a weirdo as he was, it might be fun to play house with him, she concluded.

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Panda Note:** This is a bit um...something. It's short, because it was meant to be. I hope you're all ready for a nice sequel. I'm still working on the first chapter, but let me know what you think should go down in this one. I do enjoy all your opinions. See you guys in the first chapter!!


	2. Chapter One

**Panda Note: **I hope you enjoyed the prologue, I rather enjoyed writing it. It's good to be back at this story, I had a feeling we'd be doing this again. I know a lot of people assumed I wouldn't be doing a sequel but I do listen to you guys, I just had to see where I stood with the idea. So we've reached the first chapter. I really would love to know what you all think of it. Send me a review or a tweet on twitter, Pandaville. Feel free to send me a follower request if you want. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Even after all the time that's passed I still don't own this franchise! Darn. You should know that Lisa Ward is a real person and is actually an MMA fighter. I don't take complete claim to her, except that she's sort of my character, I know nothing about the real woman. So don't sue me Ms. Ward. My Lisa is my own creation when it comes to her persona.

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Chapter One

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Why did she say yes?

Maybe it was because she got caught up in the moment or because she'd been pestered continuously, but now she regretted her decision.

"How about this one? It's a nice color." nodded her best friend, holding up the ugliest tint of green she'd ever seen. The brunette usually had an amazing sense of fashion, but this was just unforgivable. It was like someone just poured garbage juice all over the dress and then bunched parts of it up so that it was puffy in random places.

"I'd rather wear a plastic bag." the blond retorted glaring at the dress, hoping that somehow she could set it on fire with her mind.

"We've been at this all day, Sam. You can't expect all the maid of honor dresses to be as stunning as the brides, its sort of like an unspoken rule." shrugged Carly, placing the dress back on the hanger.

"I just don't want to look like a plum or a piece of lettuce. If people are going to see me a lot I'd rather not be too 'loud'."

"But you're always loud Sam." smiled the brunette.

"Look, you go deal with the final preparations for your dress and I'll pick my dress out."

"But...what if..." started Carly but was cut off by Sam.

"No Shay, I have this. You just go get fitted for the tenth time. We've only got a few weeks until the 'big day'." Two weeks to be exact. It made her wonder why Carly had waited on the Maid of Honor dress. Wasn't it up there on the list with the bridesmaids dresses? It could have been because Sam wasn't too keen on the whole process and wanted her to feel comfortable in whatever she wore.

The bride-to-be, nodded, slightly in a daze and headed over to the seamstress, who coddled her and catered to her needs. Carly was your typical bride-to-be in every way, its what she had dreamed of, secretly. David Shay was definitely the guy for her, without a doubt in her mind. She'd seen every angle of him over the years and couldn't find anything that made her want to run for the hills, like her previous relationships.

Sam glanced over at her best friend and smiled to herself. Carly in love was probably one of the few beautiful things she'd ever really seen. The blond wasn't much for overly-done romances but as far a love went, this was the real-deal. Her own romance had blossomed over the years and most of the time she couldn't believe she was with Freddie Benson. Freddork, Fredicini Alfredo, Freducation, the list went on. Even with being together they were much the same as they were when in high school.

Their relationship had gone through a few ups and downs over the years and she'd found herself wondering why they bothered to go on. Not that she was unhappy in her relationship, but there were moments of doubt that stuck with her.

Carly said on many occasions that it was because of the love they had for each other. The brunette went on and on about how she'd never seen a love like theirs. Sam just thought that she'd beaten him so much that he had brain damage.

Shaking it off she headed over to a rack of dresses that looked safe enough. She refused to allow her best friend to dress her, even if it was her wedding. The color had to be green or a turquoise, that was the theme.

Carly's dress was very classy, much like the girl wearing it at that moment. Sam smiled for a moment, stopping at a rack to admire the beautiful vintage wedding dress that the brunette was in. If it were at all possible it made her best friend look more beautiful than she'd ever seen her.

The brunette smiled at her best friend, who caught her eye. She couldn't wait until Sam got married and she'd get to see her in a dress like hers.

Sam's hand touched something soft as she scrolled through a few dresses and found one that went with the vintage theme. With the dressed picked she held it up and got Carly's attention. She nodded and put a thumbs up, followed by the seamstress telling her not to move her arms.

With her Maid-of-Honor dress chosen she headed for one of the other seamstresses to get a fitting and a few alterations.

"You're going to love the church in Yakima." Carly stated while she and Sam were facing one another, two women with needles working around them.

"Why's this one so special again?" Sam asked, watching her seamstress closely.

"Its where my grandparents were married...where my mom and dad got married. It's tradition." smiled Carly, with a far away look in her eyes. "I've always wanted to get married in the church my mom was."

"You miss her don't you?" Sam said with a sad smile.

"You do too...you're mom I mean."

"Sometimes. It's funny how much you really care when they aren't there anymore, huh?"

"Yeah."

The two went silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

"To be honest I hadn't really known her all that well. She died when I was four."

Sam stayed silent as she watched her best friend closely. It was a rarity when she would talk about her mother. There had been one other time when they first became friends that they talked about their families. After that Carly preferred to leave that subject alone, for Spencer's sake. As lively and fun-loving as he appeared, their mother was taboo in his book. He didn't like to talk about her much or even see her pictures displayed.

"Yeah I remember you telling me." she muttered.

"I know that its going to be a little hard for Spencer once we get there." started Carly. "When he was little my mom would take him to church every single morning. She was devoted to her church." by this time a smile had formed on her face. "Spencer used to love going with her and singing along to the hymns. But after her death he didn't bother going back." Carly's eyes moved to the right as she stood perfectly still, trying to continue looking at Sam. "They were really close...I know he misses her more than I do."

"I bet..." the mutter was barely heard by Carly. "You know..." the blond started. "I'm sure that she'd love to be there when you get married, right up front balling her eyes out."

"She will be."

Sam looked up, surprised by how sure she was of something impossible. Looking over at Carly, she found her holding her hand over her heart. Something inside of Sam switched on in that moment and she felt choked up. Not something that happens to her on many occasions. But the utter warm of Carly's eyes as she smiled softly, standing here in her wedding dress and talking about her mother; it touched her. She had to force any of the tears that were threatening to fall, back where they belonged.

As cheesy as it was, Sam couldn't help but feel her heart swell up with love for her best friend. Not many people got to see Carly in this light. Most were used to the bubbly talk show host slash journalist. Even her friends outside of Sam and Freddie didn't know all her onion layers. They'd never realize what true beauty lived underneath all of that played up persona.

To change the subject of her mother; Sam thought about her father.

"Your dad coming in for this _blessed_ event?" Sam asked, knowing full well that he'd rush across open waters for her. It was silly to even ask her such a question. The other reason for bringing the man up was due to a still fresh memory in her mind. The last time she saw Carly's father was when she was twenty-three and he showed up randomly at Spencer's loft. He never barged into the loft without knocking, again. Sam couldn't hid her grin as the memory played out in her mind.

"Sam!" snapped Carly, though there was no sign of a reprimand. "Please, don't torment my dad while he's here."

"I'll be..._nice_..." Sam continued to grin like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar.

"I don't like how that sounds."

"It's not my fault he walked in on me and Freddie..."

Carly put her hand up to stop Sam from continuing along that thought process.

"I don't need to know what you guys were doing. It's bad enough that my dad got an eye-full. Did you really have to play your _games_ while you were house sitting for Spencer?" Carly ranted, arms flailing slightly.

"He started it."

"Uh huh and I believe you..." she didn't.

"I'll be good, I promise...at least until he leaves."

"That's all I ask."

"So...when's he gettin' here?" the blond asked slyly, causing the brunette to groan and cause palm to meet forehead.

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"You survived!" grinned Freddie Benson as she walked through the door of their apartment. She frowned and threw her bag down near the hat rack.

"Did I?" she continued to frown as she threw herself down on the couch and waited for her boyfriend to join her.

"Was it that bad?" the smile never leaving his lips. He took the vacant seat at the very end of the couch, picking up her feet and placing them on his lap. She'd started to wear high heals after she realized they made her legs look 'foxy' as she put it. He had to agree that he enjoyed seeing her in them as much as she liked to wear them. The only problem was that she was still a newbie at them and they hurt like hell after a long day.

Being the sweet boyfriend he was he'd give her feet a nice rub.

"Oh..right there...ahhh." Sam sighed and got comfortable with the yellow pillow underneath her head. "Yeah it was pretty bad. We spent all morning at the hairdressers talking over different hair styles, since its 'vintage'. Then I had to get a fitting for the dress I picked out. That woman kept poking me with her stupid pins, look I have marks!" she lifted the side of her shirt, exposing her belly. There were indeed little red dots, he allowed his fingers to touch the sore spots. She twitched slightly under his fingers.

After all the years they'd been together his touch still made her squirm. He knew that if it were reversed that he'd be the one twitching instead.

"Does this mean everything is finished?" he asked getting back to her feet.

She shifted a bit and was lying flat on her back, her arms hiding the lights in the room from her eyes.

"I wish. I don't know why I agreed to do all of this. I still have to make sure everything gos off without a problem. I know that its the wedding planner's responsibility but Carls will expect me to watch out for anything jank."

"You can't just blow this off either, not when its Carly." he smiled and watched her glare at him from the corner of his eye.

Even though the day had turned out for the better—what with the conversation she'd had with Carly—it was still too much. Her feet were killing her!

"The things I do for people." she sighed and pushed herself up off the couch. "Mama's hungry, what did you make tonight?" she asked, hopeful for food.

"I thought we could order out tonight."

She stopped her trip to the kitchen and turned around to give him a disgruntled stare.

"Seriously?" she started, slowly feeling the right side of her face twitch. "Saturdays are your days to cook. We've talked about this, Benson!"

Holding up his hands in defense he stated, "I was joking, Sam!"

"You'd better be." she scowled and then continued her walk to the kitchen.

Their apartment was much like their home in Boston, minus the downstairs neighbors. They never felt the need to buy a house, since it was just the two of them and their dog, Hammy. The old dog wobbled into the kitchen at that moment and visited his water bowl, ignoring his two owners in the process. Sam couldn't believe how old he'd become over the years, then again they didn't have long lifespans to begin with. He was really pushing the hell out of nine years.

Despite being blatantly ignored by her dog, she went to him and rubbed at his head. He lifted his old face to her and soaked up the love she gave to him in a simple scratch of the scalp.

"Where did the time go buddy?" she mumbled to him as Freddie entered to kitchen to finish making dinner.

"Don't think about _that_ Sam, let's try to enjoy our time with him while we can." he gave her a sad expression as he grabbed the potholders.

"It's hard sometimes." she frowned.

Freddie hated seeing her like this at times, when the thought of Hammy's death would come up. It was apparent to both of them that he was inching towards the 'finish line'. Despite Sam's hard outer shell, she loved her dog. He worked his way into her heart the instant she laid eyes on him, he knew this and so did she.

"Hammy is too stubborn to go down without a fight, you know that."

"Yeah..."

Hammy plopped his head onto her legs while she continued to rub his head. Looking into his big eyes make her own start to water even more.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye Hams..." she whispered, running her right hand over the top of his head and down his back.

His tongue slid out and lightly grazed her forearm.

With his unspoken reply, he lifted his rump off the tile floor and started for their bedroom.

"Come on Sam, let's eat." Freddie called as he grabbed two plates and started placing food onto them.

"You don't have to tell me twice!" she jumped up and rushed after him.

Later on that night they began their nightly rituals of brushing their teeth and getting into their pajamas. Sam sighed and ran a hand through her blond curls. The past month had just been so stressful and she wasn't the one getting married on the tenth of October.

The thought of marriage reminded her of what she had agreed to almost a month and a half before. She was planning on marrying Freddie Benson, someone she thought she'd never even be dating. That was so long ago though, now it just seemed so natural to be with the guy. He still could be a nerd but it was endearing most times.

Placing her rinsed off toothbrush back into its holder, she ran a brush once more through her hair and headed back into their bedroom. Freddie sat on his side of the bed with a book opened. Hammy had given up on trying to get into their bed a few years before and resigned to his own.

The moment Sam stepped outside of the bathroom Freddie looked up and smiled that boyish smile that pulled at her heartstrings.

"Hey." she said, smiling coyly.

"Hey." he replied, feeling suddenly hot under the collar of his white t-shirt. He knew that look so well and by God he loved it.

She seemed to glide across the carpet to their bed with grace, something not associated with the blond.

"PG-13 or NC-17?" she asked with a grin.

He couldn't hold back the laugh bubbling up in his chest as she practically threw the book out of his hands and flicked off the light on the nightstand.

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Spencer Shay, a man, an artist. He internally laughed at how it sounded in his head. All he needed was an awesome super hero pose and he'd be set.

He grinned as he splatted on more circular noodles to the sculpture before him. It was an amazing feeling, being in the moment of a masterpiece. All the adrenaline rushing through him, trying to reach the finish line. He'd always felt like this when it came to his craft, but something was definitely different about what he created. There was a new passion to each detail. A new breath, inside of his art.

It was because of Lisa.

Someone pulled back the blinds to his creativity and let the sun shine through. This wasn't the only reason he loved Lisa so much, not just because she inspired him. He never realized there was such a thing as a _normal_ relationship. Somewhere down the line he was close to giving up on the female species. All the women he'd been with were far too crazy for his taste. He knew he was far from normal; he could accept that.

It was too much work to try and tame his eccentric ways. Women always looked at him oddly when he made strange beverages or chased after U-Haul vans.

Lisa ran beside him and it wasn't because he was doing it. He could still remember her whole face lit up, eyes lit up, auburn hair flying in the wind.

She was too good to be true, too amazing to be with a guy like him.

He sighed and started to drift off into thoughts of the woman just upstairs, working in her own 'studio'. His musings would have continued if not for the ringing of the doorbell. He answered the door covered in what looked like Spaghetti-O's; from head to toe, Sam thought at least. With Spencer it could be just about anything.

"I don't even want to know, Spence." Sam put her hands up and shook her head as she passed him.

He looked down at himself and sighed, most people would think he was crazy. Sam didn't care at all, she was too used to his bizarre behavior at this point.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something..." he started but it didn't seem as though she was listening to him at all as she dug through his well-stocked fridge.

Some things never changed.

"I came over to see if Lisa could help me out with something..." she stated with a nice slice of ham in her hands. "Is she around?"

Despite years of trying to get it through to Sam that she was an adult now and couldn't just come over and eat all his food, it didn't seem to sink in. Lisa hand no problem at all with any of them showing up randomly at their apartment.

Their poor couch had finally given way—due to their constant visiting—and he had to part with it. When Lisa suggested that he should find some way to keep it in their lives—artistically speaking—he fell in love with her all over again.

He managed to use almost every piece of their old couch to build a new robot. Its eyes even lit up when you passed it and talked, usually saying—_feeeeear meee—_loudly.

Lisa loved it and thought it would be cool to put it in the kitchen, where it could watch them eat and cook.

How'd he get so lucky?

"She's upstairs making vases." he stated watching Sam stuff a full piece of ham into her mouth.

When he had first met Lisa he wasn't sure how she'd do with the other women in his life—Sam and Carly. Sam wasn't sure at first, until Lisa put on an MMA match and said she had fought again Ayumi Saito many years ago, when she was a young fighter—and a blond. She went on to explain how she didn't really have the chops to continue and moved onto something she really loved. Since then Sam has always gone to her to learn some new moves and occasionally to get advice.

For Carly, it was important to know what someone would keep her brother safe and take good care of him. She never had to question Lisa's intentions. It also helped Lisa's case that she was 'fashionable', in Carly's words.

Sam continued to eat in his kitchen for a moment and then rubbed her dirty hands on one of his towels in the kitchen.

"Cool." she grinned and started for the stairs. "Later, Spence." she waved and disappeared.

"What am I, chopped liver?" he asked after her. As much as he hated her coming over and eating his food, he still liked to get visitors.

He could only hear her laughter as she disappeared upstairs.

Sam found Lisa leaning over her clay wheel, completely immersed in her work. Even after five years of knowing Lisa, she couldn't figure out why she gave up her MMA life for _this_. Playing with clay in her and Spencer's apartment.

Shaking her head she entered their old iCarly studio.

"Hey Sam-o." Lisa stated, not looking up.

"How do you always know its me?" the blond asked.

"Everyone has a different sounding walk when you come up the stairs. Carly's are gentle and slow. Freddie's are heavier but at a medium pace. Spencer practically runs up the stairs and jumps over a few steps. You my dear are much like Spencer, except you avoid the running."

"Impressive." Sam smirked and took the seat across from the older woman.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" big blue eyes glanced over the rim of her thick black rimmed glasses.

"Have you ever wanted to get married?" Sam found herself asking with surprising ease. She thought she was going to have a difficult time talking with anyone about this. But with Lisa she had always felt like they were kindred spirits, like she could be the 'mom' she'd always needed. This didn't change how she felt about her own mother, Sarah. But being without one for so many years had been a lot harder than she had assumed it would be.

"Not always." the wheel stopped and calculated hands began to fix random parts of it. Then with a swift sweep of her hands and a thin piece of wire, the clay was up off the wheel.

"Why?" Sam asked, like an overly curious kid.

"My parents were never a great example of what it was like to be in a normal relationship. I just assumed it was how all families were—you know with my parents off with other people while still being married and living together."

"Your parents were swingers?" the blond gaped.

"Yep." now with all her attention on Sam; she could tell that the younger woman was on a mission. "So why did you need to know?"

"I respect your opinion." a shrugged followed.

"Is that the only reason." an eyebrow rose.

"Can you keep a secret?"

Now Lisa was interested in what Sam had to say.

"You know I can." the brunette smiled.

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Nancy Gladstone frowned deeply as the blond used a thick sharpie to cross out multiple items on her checklist. She knew that Carly Shay's friend would be difficult the moment they first met a few months before. Carly insisted that Sam be really involved with all the planning, second checking—even triple checking all the preparations. Nancy hated every moment of it.

The deadline was in exactly seven more days, they were all under so much pressure to be ready on time. She couldn't count how many times she'd been to Yakima over the past few months. She honestly couldn't wait until it was done and over with.

Working with Samantha Puckett was like walking through a tank of sharp pointy objects. Not fun at all and you always ended up with too many injuries to count.

"What's wrong with number twelve?" she finally asked, after receiving her clipboard back.

"What's not wrong with it?" scowled Sam. "I know Carls and she would _hate_ that. Besides we're going to be in Yakima, this time of year it wouldn't be the best idea to let doves go flying in a church full of old people." Sam stated in a 'duh' sort of manner.

"If you think its _best_." the older woman stated through gritted teeth.

"I do. Now can I leave you to the rest of the planning or are you going to go off Carly's list? Her color coded, alphabetical, laminated list." she stated with an eyebrow raised.

"I think I can handle this." Nancy sighed, caving into the blond, wanting her to leave hastily.

"Good, see you in a few days. Gotta get to work." Sam waved, walking out of her office.

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Panda Note:** So...how was it? Let me know! I hope it met your expectations. I rather enjoyed writing it to be honest. I can't wait to start the next chapter. I don't know when it'll be posted but hopefully soon. So give me some lovin' guys!


	3. Chapter Two

**Panda Note:** Well it seems that I've got another chapter for you. I hope it's awesome. I'll keep trying to make this as great as I possibly can. Just let me know when I start to suck guys.

**Disclaimer:** You'd think I would own something by now. You think Jerry Trainor will send me a lock of his sexy hair? No? I didn't think so either.

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Chapter Two**

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Five days into October and Sam could already feel the buzz of a fall wedding in the air. She'd taken the entire week off from work as everyone else had, to set up for the wedding in Yakima. To think she'd be spending all her time off in a place like that.

Hammy didn't feel much like traveling in his old age and resigned to stay with the woman across the way from their apartment.

With bags packed she and Freddie headed for Spencer's, he thought it would be a _great _idea to all go together. She would have opted out of the entire thing if not for Carly, who was on board with it. Naturally Sam couldn't deny her best friend; again.

What Sam hadn't realized when she first agreed was that Spencer intended for them all to go in an RV. This wouldn't have been so bad, if not for the fact that the ride was only a two hour drive. They could have just as easily taken separate cars; incase of a much needed escape from the madness. Sam knew she'd need that escape when Carly got into 'crazy bride' mode. Her peppy brunette buddy was already showing early signs of blowing up at someone over the smallest thing. The blond feared for the days of 'pregnant' Carly.

What they found once arriving at Bushwell Plaza was not what they were expecting. In Spencer's parking spot outside—where his boat used to sit—was an old RV. It looked like it had taken a trip from the mid-1990s. They lived in a day and age where technology had advanced and cars ran a little better.

It was 2021 for goodness sakes!

"What's with the sour face?" Freddie asked as they parked and sat in Freddie's car for a few minutes.

"Spencer's idea of a joke." She stated; giving the rickety RV the stink eye.

"I thought you loved older vehicles?" the corners of his mouth turned up as he thought of her ancient blue truck up in vehicle heaven.

"Not when you're trapped in an RV with Spencer singing and swerving." she blotched. "I almost starved."

"The second hunt for Big Foot." Freddie grinned looking off into the distance wistfully. He had more fun than Sam and Carly did on that trip. "Well to be fair you ate up all your preserves before we even got out of Seattle." he stated as an afterthought to her remark.

"I don't do well in small spaces for long periods of time." she groaned, ignoring his jab about her eating far too much.

"I know." He allowed his hand to reach across and grasp hers, giving it a light squeeze. "I came prepared for that though." He said in a soothing voice. "I made sure to pack you plenty of meaty products."

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around." the young woman in the passenger seat stated cheekily.

"It could be my dashing good looks…" he started, giving her a little wink.

"You wish." she rolled her eyes and pushed the door opened.

The cold October air bit at her exposed limbs as she and Freddie worked their way to the trunk. She couldn't remember why she thought leggings and a skirt were a great idea. Even the thin sweater did nothing to prevent the chill of fall to enter and run down her spine.

Freddie grabbed most of their luggage and headed over to the RV, where Spencer was now standing; sailor hat on in all its glory. Lisa was acting most mischievous from what Sam could tell at her location by their car. She was dancing around behind Spencer, who kept waving his arms about as if he were landing planes. With a swift almost ninja-like skill she snatched the hat right off of his head and darted inside the RV.

Sam knew that her dear friend and role model had planned on driving, much to her boyfriend's chagrin. One thing about Spencer Shay; he loved being the captain of the ship. Having such a headstrong and intelligent girlfriend like Lisa left him reeling at times. He could deny her nothing, even giving up his seat as the driver. He just wished that he could say _no_ to the woman.

Sam could already see the outcome of this journey; Spencer pouting in the passenger seat the entire way.

"Why can't we just take our car?" she asked no one in particular as she continued to eye the RV with untrusting eyes. She'd been standing out by the car freezing her tootsies off for a good ten minutes while her well trained boyfriend—wait—fiancé—got all the rest of their bags. It still felt strange to think of him as anything more than a boyfriend. Each day the thought of them actually going and getting married sunk in deeper. Maybe this feeling inside of her chest was what people referred to as 'cold feet'.

She'd always been so against the institute of marriage that actually doing it made her feel like a hypocrite. Yet she loved Fredward Benson more than she'd care to admit, even to him. It should be unhealthy, this love. So many times she'd wonder how it had all come down to this. She knew _how_ they got together and could even write a novel length story about it—not that she would, writing was hard. What she couldn't grasp was how they _worked_ like a well oiled machine. They fought frequently but never in a way that damaged their evening.

Yet it felt too _perfect_ that they could be so _happy_.

Then she'd think of all their old friends from high school who got married. Some were already divorced at the age of twenty-seven.

Would they be the same way?

What made them any different than Gibby and his now ex-wife? What about Carly and David for that matter? Who's to say they'd make it?

Maybe she couldn't understand the after.

Sighing she grabbed her dark green backpack from the farthest corner of the trunk and flung it over her shoulder. Enough thought about what hasn't happened yet. She needed to get through the week and not kill anyone at this wedding.

Carly's choices in bridesmaids' were still hard to get used to. They were all a bunch a girly-girls, constantly giggling over the stupidest things. Her best friend required her to meet up with these girls twice a week to go over their part in the ceremony as well as their plans to throw Carly a bachelorette party. Sam would have much rather it be her and Carly, but didn't see any way of that happening. It was Carly's wedding and her celebration so Sam had no way of denying Carly.

Freddie looked up when she slowly made her way over, looking a little out of it. He'd seen this look more frequently as Carly's wedding came closer. She'd tell him it was nothing and go on about her business but he knew better.

He watched her as she walked over to the RV and climbed in and flopped on the couch. She grumbled as she dug through her backpack, searching for a fatcake.

Shaking his head he joined her while Carly and David sat at the table across from Sam playing a game of Go-Fish.

Spencer sat in the passenger seat as his girlfriend Lisa sat in the driver's seat. Her fingers hugged the torn up leather steering wheel as her foot revved up the engine.

"Don't pout Spence." she told her gunshot passenger, who slouched in his seat. "You can drive on the way home, promise." the smile on her face seemed to pacify him and he relaxed into his chair.

Sam shook her head at the pair and then turned her attention to the other couple, still playing Go-Fish. Carly laughed behind her handful of cards as David asked if she had a five of hearts.

"Go-Fish." she said. After he picked up a card she looked at her handful of cards and asked, "Seven of spades?"

"How do you keep doing that?" David groaned as he handed over the card.

"I'm just that good." she shrugged.

"It's true Davey-boy. If you want to win play war." Sam piped in as she relaxed her head on Freddie's lap.

"Shush Sam, don't give away my secrets." chided Carly playfully.

"The guy is gonna need to be prepared." shrugged the blond.

"Thanks Sam for the info." winked David.

Freddie looked at Carly and David as the continued their game. He'd been thinking about what he'd asked Sam a few weeks before this trip. He'd been asking so long that it didn't feel real yet. Maybe it wasn't done right? He could have asked her a different way, more romantic. Then again it was Sam, she hated when he did anything remotely romantic. His grand gestures never got the results he wished for at times. Then there were the big winners, the ones that took her breath away; those were keepers. Like when he rented out the paintball place for a whole day for their third anniversary. Sam and Spencer had gone to war while he remained at a distance.

He absentmindedly ran his fingers through her long curly hair. She hadn't cut in a few years and it was passed her hips. Whenever she straightened it the length almost touched her rear end.

Her eyes turned up to him through her bangs and she gave him a little smile. It always took him by surprise when her true feelings would shine through, whenever she looked at him. He could practically feel her unconditional love just looking into her eyes. It was staggering how apparent it was and yet he felt himself question it every single day. Was it bad that he still wasn't sure he was making the right decision for them?

Everything changes when you get married.

It could go one of two ways; they'd be blissfully happy or crash and burn. Then again no one was ever blissfully happy, even in marriage. Heck, they fought three or four times a day over nothing and everything. It's how their relationship had been for so many years, even before they got together. He wasn't expecting a change in that field but could they really do this for their entire lives?

Mentally shaking it off he returned to the girl in his lap who had fallen asleep. It was probably for the best that she passed out; Spencer had begun a round of singing about Root Beer.

After about an hour of Spencer's off key singing and David surrendering to Carly's amazing card skills; they'd stopped at a gas station.

Sam rubbed her eyes and lifted herself up and climbed out of the RV relic.

"Please for the love of ham sandwiches, tell me we're there!" cried Sam as she covered her ears, Spencer still singing in the front seat. The older man had decided to stay inside the _ship_ while his captain went to get them some snacks. It always amazed Freddie how much Sam hated long trips with Spencer. He remembered their trip with her father before they were close, when they were taking her mother's remains to the ocean.

Those were dark times that just seemed to fade into the background of their life. She was still there in Sam's memories, though she didn't talk about her mother much anymore. He rarely thought about the woman, only meeting her a few times and seeing her in the home videos their parents used to shoot.

Whenever Sarah Puckett came to mind it would bring his father along. He and Marissa Benson never talked about it after their long talk. It just didn't seem like much would change what happened. Plus he was sure that the past still haunted her to this day. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if Sam were to decide one day that she was in love with someone else. He couldn't imagine loving another who wasn't Sam. But then he'd always thought that his own parents had a love like that, he was wrong.

"Yo Benson, move it!" snapped Sam, who was standing outside the RV door as the wind blew her hair around her. She looked amazing as she fought to keep it out of her eyes. It was apparent though that she wanted to get away from Spencer's singing.

"Coming." he said and jumped down.

She rolled her eyes and turned to head inside to get something to drink and maybe some ear plugs. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him again. She looked a little confused for a second as he smiled down at her and then pulled her to him. Still a bit lost by his actions she reluctantly brought her hands around him and gripped the back of his shirt.

"You alright there Freddifer?" she asked pressed into his shoulder.

He rarely hugged her for no reason and the way he was holding her said so much. Sometimes it was nice to know that his heart was hers, even when he could be with just about anyone, he didn't need to know that though.

"Yeah I'm fine, just felt like holding you."

Breaking apart, she looked at him still confused and grabbed his hand.

"Let's go loverboy." she rolled her eyes and pulled him along to the Gas-in-Go.

Upon returning to the RV they found that Carly and David had taken their seats behind the driver side. Shrugging it off they opted for the table near the door and pulled out a box of domino's.

* * *

Once the RV hit normal ground away from the highway, the group found themselves on 16th Avenue headed south. With the direction of Spencer and her own knowledge of Yakima; Lisa maneuvered through the town. The first think they saw to their right was Phillips Chani PhD Psychotherapist, someone that Carly and Spencer's father knew growing up. Spencer gave a little wave to the Yakima cinema on the left, on River Rd as they continued down 16th Avenue. He and Socko actually used to go there when they were little boys, before they moved to Seattle.

After passing a few spas and other homely establishments they came about Englewood Avenue and he had Lisa take a right.

"So Dad is here?" Carly asked leaning over her seat behind Lisa.

"Granddad said he got in early this morning." Spencer said, as happily as he could. As much as he loved his father, at times the man brought him down. Lisa hadn't yet met him and he was quite nervous they wouldn't get along. Not that his father's opinion mattered at all anymore but he didn't want Lisa's feelings hurt if his father were a bit too blunt.

"Don't sounds so overjoyed." Carly rolled her eyes.

"It's not that, I just know he's going to ask me about what I've been up to since 'Law School'. He always does." it was partly true, though Carly didn't need to know half the conversations they had.

The RV continued down the road passing Twenty-Eighth Avenue and working its way toward Fifty-Second Avenue.

"Maybe you should just tell him the true, it's been what ten years now? He'll be proud of you, I know I am." the younger of the Shay siblings stated smiling sweetly at her older brother.

Passing by all the numbered street signs they finally came upon fifty-second and made a left headed down towards Richey Rd. Making a right on Richey Rd and driving down to the seven house on the street they came to Conrad Shay's home. Because of the constant flow of visitors he kept the home he and the late Mrs. Lillian Shay shared for many years. It had four bedrooms, three bathrooms and a basement, one of the only real reasons to visit Yakima besides Granddad.

Sam had only been to Granddad Shay's house a few times and it still looked the same as she could remember. The exterior was long and only had a few small windows while the garage sat to the left end of the house. Lisa pulled the monster in right behind Granddad's deep blue Saturn.

Carly shot out of the RV before anyone even heard the door open. Outside stood an older gentleman, about fifty or so with his strong arms open to her. He was quite tall with a strong jawline and shaved off hair; just like all the military men Sam had seen in movies.

Sam walked over, with Freddie following behind and she grinned at him as his eyes grew wide.

"Samantha, always a pleasure." he stated stiffly, holding out his hand to her.

"Family doesn't shake hands, they hug!" she threw her arms back and then launched herself at him, trapping him in a hug.

Colonel James Shay's body became as stiff as a board for a second as Sam continued to rock back and forth.

"Uh, Sam." started Carly, "Could you let my dad go now?"

"Fine." the blond reluctantly released Carly's father who let out a sigh of relief, though he couldn't look her in the face.

"I trust you're well, Samantha?" he asked conversationally.

Sam raised an eyebrow at the Colonel and then shook her head.

"It's Sam, _sir _and I'm just peachy."

"I see you've brought young Fredward with you." he commented, looking as though he'd love nothing more than to be anywhere else but there.

"Dad, he likes being called Freddie. I told you last time." Carly stated rolling her eyes.

"Right, well your grandfather is inside waiting." he opened the door and ushered the three iCarly's into the house as Lisa and Spencer hung back.

After the three were inside Spencer approached his father and they sized one another up.

"Spencer." the other man nodded and held out his hand.

"Dad." Spencer returned and took his father's hand, grabbing it as hard as he could. His father used to tell him he had a weak handshake and needed to 'man' up. He was only ten for goodness sakes. "This is Lisa Ward, my girlfriend." he introduced, putting a firm palm to Lisa's back.

"Oh, this is the woman Carly's been telling me about. I hope you're keeping my boy on the right track?"

Lisa smiled up at Colonel Shay warmly.

"Of course, it's really a pleasure to meet you sir." she put her hand out to shake his and he reciprocated.

"I believe you've got a keeper Spencer, this girl's got a nice firm handshake."

"I used to train." she blushed as their hands let go at the same time.

"How about we get inside and get bedrooms and such situated?"

James Shay watched as his son and the girl—who he hoped would be his daughter-in-law—enter the house.

* * *

**Panda Note:** So I wasn't planning on ending this chapter here but I honestly need to for now. I've been sitting on this for over a week and just barely finished it. It's a bit rough around the edges so let me know what you liked or didn't like. It is a bit short, by my standards so I'll try to work on the next one soon.


	4. Chapter Three

**Panda note: **Here we are again!! One thing before you read, if you're a fan of "10 Things I Hate About You", please tune in on Mondays and watch, get the ratings up to save the show, it was canceled and we're hoping that if the ratings are high they'll bring it back. Worth a try right? Go to my profile to learn more! Okay here's a little chapter for you. I'll really try to work on more of it soon, forgive me!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own iCarly or Spencer's sexy hair or banjo skills, sorry.

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* * *

Chapter Three

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After a nice long week of planning and running around like crazy, they had finally made it to the _big day._ Carly stood inside a tiny decorative room as Sam took another swig of the wine that had been brought to them. Her brunette friend had refused to drink until after the actual wedding, despite the jumble of nerves building up in her stomach.

"Am I really doing this?" Carly asked for the hundredth time that morning.

"Yes Carls, its happening. You and ol' Davey are gonna tie the knot, attach the ol' ball 'n chain, you're gonna—,"

"I get it Sam," Carly deadpanned as she allowed the bridesmaids to fuss over every little crinkle on her dress. "It's different when you're engaged. You have the wedding to plan and it distracts you for a while from the fact that you're actually _marrying_ this person. There's so much attached to that."

"Like what? I mean you and David have been together for a _long_ time. About as long as me and Fredwad."

Carly's dress could be heard as she gracefully stepped off the stool she was on. With some effort Carly sat down next to her best friend and twiddled her thumbs.

"It's so _final_, you know? It's one thing to play house with someone and be in a relationship but to say you'll 'be together forever' is so…"

"Ridiculous?"

"No," Carly rolled her eyes, "It's a done deal, at least to me. I _know_ he's the right one, but I'm so scared."

"Carls, you love him right?" Carly nods, "You couldn't imagine not seeing his mug every single day?"

"You're right. I really can't imagine what it would be like if I never saw him again," sighed Carly.

"It would be too painful to bear…" Sam mumbled, not making eye contact with the beautiful bride beside her.

"Sam?"

"Yeah Carls?"

"You couldn't imagine what life would be like now without Freddie huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Just as Carly opened her mouth to retort and pester her best friend the door opened and Lisa popped her head in.

"We're going to start in five minutes, your dad is coming now to walk you down the isle," with a smile Lisa disappeared out the door.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm really going through with this," David Shay said for the tenth time in five minutes.

He'd begun pacing back and forth like a nervous wreck as Freddie, Spencer and a few of his buddies watched. The poor guy had messed up his nicely combed hair which now stood on end, like his nerves. Spencer could do nothing but watch on as his—hopefully—future brother-in-law wore out the poor rug in the groom's room.

"Well you are so you'd better get a hold of yourself, son," commented Colonel Shay, who had somehow entered without making a sound.

While the older man tried to give David a pep-talk Freddie found himself feeling suddenly nauseous thinking about marriage.

What was he thinking? Proposing to Sam when he _really_ wasn't sure at all if he wanted to get married. He thought he was, he convinced himself so many times that it was the right thing to do. But seeing David in a state of disarray he found that he didn't really understand the full implications of marriage.

He thought he was ready, it had been years since the first got together. Most people moved onto marriage after maybe two or three years of dating, at minimum. He knew he was pushing the hell at of eight years.

But were they ready to move there yet? He was starting to doubt it greatly, as he watched the madness before him unfold in all its glory.

David wasn't even married yet and he was more than ready to back out of the hole thing. Now, it wasn't because of that which led him to believe he wasn't ready. No, it was just awake previous thoughts on the subject and brought them to the forefront of him mind.

Freddie had always prided himself on being extremely intelligent. It was his thing, what he had going for him. But now he felt like a complete fool. He and Sam had a _great_ thing going for them, why mess with it? Besides Sam would understand where he was coming from, she _hated_ weddings and the whole circus that went with it.

* * *

"Stop fussing with your veil Carls," Sam snapped in a whisper, swatting Carly's hand away. Colonel Shay still couldn't look Sam directly in the eye, but he did manage to glance her way for a moment. He knew that despite the spectacle he'd walked in on that this girl was something special to his daughter. He could appreciate the fact that his little girl had such a devoted friend like Samantha Puckett.

"I'm sorry but it looked like there was a wrinkle," Carly whispered back as he heard the music start up behind the Beech wood doors.

"It's fine," Sam replied from behind them.

"Enough you guys, this is a special day, stop bickering," Lisa whispered from behind the third bridesmaid.

"Sorry," they both replied.

The twin doors swung opened and the circus began.

Sam found that she couldn't actually remember the entire wedding, just that he eyes kept traveling over to her nerd who didn't look half bad in a tuxedo. She of course had seen him plenty of times all dolled up but this was different. She wasn't the type to get all sentimental but she wondered what it would be like when they got married. How would they go about the entire affair? It was obvious to _everyone_ that she wasn't a big wedding type, but she still wanted to make a party out of it.

One thing Sam loved was a good party.

Before she knew it she found herself seated at the main table at the reception party with Carly and David, along with Freddie, Colonel Shay, Spencer and Lisa. Off to the next table she found her father, Roger and Freddie's mother silently fighting over something on the table. They were always going at it though she and Freddie knew it was just their way of friendship.

Just as she was about to dive into another thought Colonel Shay tapped his champagne glass to silence the room.

"I'd like to just say how pleased I am that my little girl found herself a good man and true happiness. I wish you only the best. To the bride and groom!" he raised his glass in the air and everyone followed.

He gave Sam a nod and she too stood up.

"I know the maid of honor is supposed to give a bit speech but let's face it, I'm not a speech kinda girl. But I'd like to say that Carly is my best friend. I love this woman who's much like the sister I never wanted," the whole room laughed and Carly grinned at her best friend. "David, I know that you guys are gonna be very happy together and that you'll take care of her…or else," she gave him a look that said 'I mean it'. "Congratulations you crazy kids!"

Freddie was up next, but Sam didn't really hear what he said, her attention had gone straight to Carly and David, who continued to hold hands and stare at each other. It was something Sam loved to see secretly, because it was so foreign to see a couple _really_ in love. That didn't include her and Freddie, because she was apart of that relationship, she couldn't view it.

Sam wasn't quite sure how she ended up dancing with Freddie, Spencer or her father but by the end of the night her dogs were barking! She slipped off her heels as everyone filed out to watch the happy couple run off to their getaway vehicle as everyone threw rice at them.

Carly caught Sam's eye and she smiled at her and waved before she descended into the car and drove off into the sunset with her husband.

Husband, the word felt weird even in her thoughts as the car vanished out of sight.

* * *

**Panda Note:** So…that was a super short chapter. I figured I should get something out to you guys. I feel so bad for abandoning this fic when all of you have been super awesome and reviewing. I think I'm starting to find my love of this ship somewhere inside me. The next chapter will start Freddie and Sam's stuff; I just had to get this wedding over with. Three chapters is enough for Carly and David, who are now off on their honeymoon. Please review and let me know what you think and suggest stuff, I think I need some input on where you think this should go, I have a few ideas but I love hearing from all you guys!


	5. Chapter Four

**Panda Note:** I have to tell you guys this, if you were hoping for some happy stuff then I'm sad to say this first part isn't all that happy. Expect more of what happens in this chapter in the coming ones, but fear not! I promise I'll be gentle with the hearts of our favorite characters. I'm actually really excited for this particular chapter, because it's the 'start' of things. I'd really love it if you read it and reviewed or tweet me or even send me a message on here, I'd LOVE to know your thoughts. Thanks so much! Now go read!

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Chapter Four

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The colors on the plate were swirling into a disgusting mess before her eyes. Sam couldn't understand why she had to work with sloppy chefs. It seemed so unjust, letting just anyone throw on a hat and call themselves culinary artists. Allowing that idiot of a teacher to teach was what really got to her! No matter how many times she visited his office to complain about his poor teaching skills, she had been met with brash censure.

All she remembered was the pain in her fists after delivering heavy blows to his face. Of course, she was removed from the premise.

She was never banned because of her good standing with a number of employees there.

Frowning down at the slop which was supposed to be a delicious dish, she contemplated just quitting. No matter how hard she tried to teach her underlings, nothing seemed to sink in.

"This is just—I'm so—do it again!" she shouted finally and pounded her fist onto the counter causing the plate to fall to the ground. "I'm sick and tired of telling you that this is sloppy work and I won't tolerate it from_ anyone_!" She pointed and glared at the three before her as they shrunk away.

"We're so sorry Ms. Puckett," one stuttered.

"I get tired of that too!" she ran a frustrated hand over her face, attempting to calm herself before she injured yet another new chef. "We've got limited time to fix this so do it again!" Her voice only showed mild annoyance this time.

They scampered off, _hopefully_ to do their jobs while she took this moment to take a fatcakes break. Wandering down a hallway, she placed her rear-end in an old deep brown wooden chair, and tore off the wrapper to a fatcake.

After eating half of one, her eyes landed on her cell phone on the table. She decided to make a call.

Smiling to herself, Sam picked it up and pressed one of her secretly favorite numbers. It rang three times before a frustrated voice answered hello.

"Hello yourself," she replied.

"Sam?" he seemed to have stopped whatever it was he was doing and turned his attention to her. "Is everything okay? You hardly ever call me at work."

"Yeah well Fredwad, I was having a crappy day and needed spread the_ joy_ on," she poked her finger deep into the fakcake, feeling the cream touch her skin. She contemplated licking her finger clean, and then she did.

"I'm sorry your day sucks but I can't talk long; the boss is giving me the stink-eye for being on the phone while we're running lines," she could faintly hear someone yelling in the distance. "And I gotta go. I'll be home late tonight, love you."

Before she could reply, the line went dead. She sighed, not feeling any better.

She knew something was bothering Freddie after they left Yakima two weeks ago, but she couldn't put her finger on just what it was. Part of her wondered if she was just being paranoid about how he had been acting. At first it was just mild things, like working a few extra hours and never being home for dinner; or how at night he would not even wait for her to join him in bed. He would simply slip under the covers and knock out.

There were also a lot of little things, like their negligible conversations and when they got a few hours together, when he didn't seem as invested.

No, Sam knew him well enough to know something was on his mind and he didn't want her to know about. It bothered her more than anything that he even had trouble talking to her. She always assumed they were nothing like _normal_ couples but apparently and sadly, she had been wrong.

Not feeling up to finishing the rest of her fatcake, Sam got up and took off her hat and took one last peek into the kitchen. Her three underlings were hovering over a plate and being as careful as a mad man defusing a bomb.

She allowed a slight smile to twitch on her face and then turned to clock out.

The first stop was to pick up some groceries, seeing as how they probably would be eating late, or she would eat alone. As sad as it was, she was becoming accustomed to those silent dinners alone. What bothered her most was that it actually bugged her. She never used to care about being alone. Now that she had felt what it was like, she did not think she could face the loneliness anymore.

Parking her vehicle into a spot close to the front of the store, she prepared for a quick shopping trip. Knowing what she needed never stopped Sam from strolling through various isles to see if there was anything else she might want to get. Wanting and needing are very different things, and the wanting is much more fun!

Not until all the things she would need for dinner were in her cart that, not knowing exactly how, she found herself in the liquor isle. She was known to not drink much, except for the occasional margarita when she went out with Lisa and Carly. The little monologue that sounded off in her head as she ran her eyes over the labels of different brands of alcohol was giving her permission. Just once couldn't she indulge a little while she was all alone at home? Making a Whiskey Sour or even an Appletini; what could that hurt? Now that her mind had thought up different drinks for the occasion, she settled on a bottle of Jim Beam and a container of Sour Drink Mix.

She wasn't sure why she chose Jim Beam whiskey over Jack Daniels. She concluded it might have been the price difference.

On her way home she rolled down her windows to let the smell of recently fallen rain into the car. One thing about Seattle was that it constantly rained and though it could be inconvenient, at times it was also wonderfully refreshing after a crappy day.

It wasn't until she caught sight of their apartment that she started to feel more relaxed.

Parking, grabbing her bags and rushing to the elevator was done in a blur. Sam headed to their next door neighbor's to collect Hammy and then, still blurry, rushed to her own place. The sound of silence welcomed her as she and Hammy entered. The pitter patter sound of his little paws could be heard only to disappear in the softness of the carpet in the bedroom. It was apparent to Hammy that the men in her life had no time for her.

Sam emptied the contents of the grocery bags onto the counter without even bothering to glance at the food. Her main objective was to down a glass of Whiskey Sour. The drink called to her and its pull would not be denied.

Before she could comprehend it she was pouring herself another, complete with a stemmed cherry sinking to the bottom. One cherry after another sank, until she noticed that her body felt loose, like a noodle after being removed from water.

Being buzzed was different for everyone, but she always knew where to cut herself off. That moment was now, the four glasses of Whiskey Sour under her belt, as well as the four cherries.

She turned on the stereo and allowed some random station to play, not really paying attention to the words of the artist.

Hours passed by and when the clock chimed that it was nearing ten she thought it would be wise to just go to bed. She had to be up so early.

Having put everything away earlier, not even bothering to cook dinner, she headed to the bedroom to crash.

* * *

Exhausted, Freddie sighed as he put the key into the lock and pushed the door opened. There were no lights on; telling him Sam had already gone off to bed. He could feel her disappointment in the air along with the slight smell of alcohol, a regular occurrence over the past week. He partly blamed himself for driving her to that point where she had to drink to numb her feelings.

He avoided talking to her about their future by avoiding her as much as possible. He needed time to understand where he stood but being in limbo helped no one. There was no way to just tell her how he was feeling, not just because he was not sure himself, but mostly because she would probably snap his neck in half.

Two weeks ago he was sure that she would understand, but that all changed during their ride home from Bushwell Plaza, when out of the blue she had turned to him and said, "I want to have kids." It may as well been as if they were talking about the weather. So why did his gut feel punched?

He didn't reply at that time and instead allowed that one statement to stew in his noggin for a few weeks. And that was exactly the same place where he found himself now as he pushed quietly through their door.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness as he worked his way toward the kitchen. It didn't smell like Sam had cooked at all, which he was expecting. Some nights when he was late, she wouldn't bother to cook. On some level it made sense to him. She did it for a living and to her it was an art. Having it sit in the fridge was disrespectful, at least to her. He opted for a sandwich and a glass of milk.

Sitting quietly at the table, with minimal light above him, Freddie wondered how he allowed all of this to get to the point where he was the one pushing Sam away. After everything they had been through together, he was shoving her off to the side simply because he couldn't deal with his own issues.

There was no understanding why he was so afraid to jump forward into their future, make it final and have some kids.

It wasn't as though he didn't love Sam. He knew he did. But the thought of them having kids at their age was putting pressure on him. He didn't even know if he wanted to have kids, ever. He was still a young guy who wanted to go hang with the guys whenever he wanted without worrying over another person's life. For that matter he didn't know if he could be anyone's father. What did he really even know about having one anyways?

The sandwich vanished from his grasp finding its way into his mouth and his milk followed.

It didn't feel right sitting all alone in the dim kitchen area stuffing his face with a ham sandwich at midnight. _This must be how it is for Sam every night I'm not home, _he thought to himself. Part of him regretted taking up those extra hours on this supposed blockbuster film. He couldn't understand why his boss was pushing so hard to get this one done. They had plenty of time to get it finished, not that he was needed too much on it. That had been his excuse though that he wanted to help finish it but really he was avoiding long conversations with his girlfriend.

Shaking it off, he headed to the bedroom, making sure not to be too loud as he slipped out of his clothes and down to his boxers.

Crawling into bed beside Sam he felt even lonelier still; she was so far off to her side of the bed. Whenever they slept, she would always be in the center, even encroaching on his side. He never minded that of course, because it meant he got to wake up the smell of her hair and the feel of her fingers gripping onto his shirt.

She was practically hugging her side of the bed, curled up into a ball under the blankets. His eyes wouldn't shut as they watched shadows dance along the ceiling, mindlessly wondering how they got here.

"You're home," she whispered, startling him away from his thoughts.

Her body still faced away from him and sadly he could feel her stiffness even though their bodies did not touch.

"Yeah," he stated in a normal tone. Why did he feel like he had to make her think he was in control when the opposite was the truth? "Sorry I was so late; this new project we're working on has a deadline," he could feel the guilt seeping out of his pours.

He could feel her body heat coming towards him until soft curls brushed his chin scraping his mild stubble and delicate fingers worked slowly to his chest.

"Don't let it happen again, Benson," she threatened tiredly and then yawned.

"I'll talk to the boss tomorrow about it, but for now I'll just try to get home earlier."

It was silent for a few moments and he thought she had fallen back to sleep. Her fingers gave her away as they traced patterns on his bare chest. It was a side to Sam no many people ever got to see and it always remained in their bedroom.

She was going to kill him that was for sure. There was no way that he'd live to see his twenty-eighth birthday.

"Something up, I know it," she whispered, still painting shapes with her fingers. "You've been acting weird lately and normally I would beat it out of you but that would have gotten me nowhere," she began. "You've become tougher and harder to crack so I thought I'd give you time to figure out whatever is going on in your stupid fluffy head."

"Gee Sam you have such a way with words," he said in amusement which received him a pinch to the side of his chest.

"Shut up," she laughed into the crook of his neck as his fingers lightly brushed the side of her hip.

"Make me," he replied jokingly.

For a moment the room was silent, no one moved and all that could be heard was shallow breathing. Freddie could feel its heat pouring over his neck, her heart pulsating against his chest. He knew in a second that things had just gone from playful to serious.

As much as he loved the R-rated part of their relationship, they couldn't do much while she was still a 'noodle' as she liked to say when she drank.

With the restraint he didn't know he could muster, Freddie gently turned her around and wrapped her into his arms. She seemed to have lost track of her first thought and followed him to this one.

Within minutes he felt her soft breaths on his forearm as she snuggled up with his other arm and tangled their legs together.

She'd never admit it but she rather liked being completely wrapped up in him.

* * *

The first thought when he woke up the next morning was that it was cold. The blankets were tucked all around his body but something just wasn't right. The smell of dried drool was the second thing he registered.

No sweet jasmine flowers welcomed him that morning as he cracked his eyes opened.

The bed was empty and so was the warmth of Sam's body.

It wasn't until his eyes landed on the bedside alarm clock that he realized she had left for work. He had to chuckle to himself as he thought this. If his teenage self had thought such a thing he would have laughed himself into a coma. Sam holding down a job back then was close to taboo. Then again she had worked for her father during senior year.

It all seemed so long ago.

He'd have to also be heading off to work within two hours. On most days he'd be the one headed off early but it was wedding season and that's when Sam's job demanded most of her time and attention. Her restaurant was where most of the receptions happened, save Carly's, who had to stick to the tradition of her family.

He almost completely forgot about the fact that Sam would be working on a bunch of weddings over the next month. This brought on what has been on his mind over the past few weeks, to the front once more.

As he sat up he could see Hammy still curled up on his bed, making whimpering songs.

_Probably chasing another rabbit n his dreams,_ Freddie thought pleasantly as he shuffled out of bed and to the shower.

He would much rather stay home and forget work just for one day. Maybe forget it for a few days even, just long enough to grasp at what he was afraid of.

No matter how many times it ran through Freddie's mind he couldn't _understand_ it. He absolutely loved Sam, too much in fact. But there was this twisting in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about what she wanted. It didn't seem like Sam would be the type to _want _to be a mother. It was always surreal learning something new about the girl with yellow hair and bright blue eyes.

She'd changed dramatically over the years, though no one except Freddie had noticed. It was bound to happen though, no matter who you were. She wasn't as hyper anymore, never did anything _just because_. It might have had something to do with her choice in carrier, which drained a lot of the life out of her.

Not many people knew this about her but Freddie saw it everyday. She was so excited at first, when she started culinary arts school, when she got her first job and then when she got the job at her current occupation. But over the more recent years that changed.

It started out small; her first group of _chefs_ straight out of school had burned most of the food. She could get past that, but as the years progressed it seemed to escalate into grander things. Just last year two of her students forgot a roast in the oven and it almost burned down the entire kitchen.

Freddie shook his head as water began to rush down upon him. He almost got lost on his trip down memory lane, seeing as how the water had now shifted over to cold.

A cold breeze hit his form as Freddie stepped out and continued on with is day.

He made sure to drop off Hammy with the sitter across the hall and then headed off to work. It was clear across town, but about ten minutes from Sam's work.

Glancing at the clock in his car Freddie realized that he still had a whole hour before he had to be to work. He always took Aurora Avenue to work; it was the fastest route from Oakwood Place, their apartment. Sam took the same street every morning on her way to work. He always loved to pass by her work and wonder how her morning was going.

He could remember a time when he'd stop in to eat, even though the prices were far too high for his tastes. Besides he got the star chef's food at home usually.

Today seemed like the best day to stop in, like he _used to_. She might think it's odd since he stopped doing it almost six months ago.

As he parked in a vacant spot near the rear part of the Canlis restaurant he noticed something wasn't right.

The first thing he saw was Sam with her hands on her hips yelling at a guy with blond hair. She was doing most of the yelling with mild comments from the gentleman. He thought for a moment if he should even intervene. Then again Sam could handle herself in any situation, such as dealing with some guy.

He opened his door and stepped out, now able to hear the conversation.

"You are the most idiotic teacher that's ever lived and trust me I've known some stupid ones!" she was yelling with flames in her eyes.

"What would you know anyways," the guy snipped back with folded arms. "You've never had to teach or be under that kind of pressure."  
"It's _your _job to make sure these guys are prepared for the real world. What are you teaching them? Every year you send me sloppy students and each year they seem to get worse. What the hell is wrong with you?"

From his position Freddie could tell that Sam's fist was itching to punch the guy in the face. He had heard stories about this guy and knew that Sam had been having issues with him for years.

"Maybe you aren't giving them a chance to prove themselves. You're always riding and scaring them."

"Then they must not be good under pressure and this job requires that you are." she said in a lower tone, clearly holding herself back from maiming the guy before her.

"Then teach them that and stop blaming me for their lack of knowledge in that field. I sent you _the best_ students and trust me they are so do _your_ job Ms. Puckett." he stated, making sure to draw out her name.

"Why don't you go back to school and _not_ do your job? I've got my own to do."

Without another word the guy turned around and left before their fight got more heated. Freddie watched him get into his car and drive off before he approached his angry girlfriend.

"What are you doing here?" she frowned, still ticked.

"Thought I'd visit you before I head to work." he shrugged, trying to pretend he hadn't just heard the entire argument."

"Oh," she said sighing. "You want something to eat?"

"No, but I'll take some dessert," he grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

"I think something could be arranged," she smiled.

* * *

After he visited Sam he hurried off to work, noticing that he only had ten minutes to get there before he was late. His boss would yet another reason to yell at him. Freddie remembered a time when the man actually respected him. Now it was a rarity that his boss at 'Camera One Productions' would even utter a kind word.

He couldn't wait until Carly came back and they could get back to their show. It's what he needed to feel normal again. He also needed to get out of 'Camera One productions' and take up an officer with 'Bat Robot Inc.'. They had been after him for years but he had been so happy with 'Camera One' that the offer just didn't seem too appealing.

When he walked through the door one of his assistance shoved a bunch of papers into his hands. Freddie sighed and wished he had just called in sick.

Mr. Sanders, his boss spotted him from across the hall as he worked his way toward the sound stage for that day's scene. He was so grateful that this was the second to last scene and then he could go and start working on the digital aspect of the job. This meant that he could work without his boss or the extra hours. That also meant he'd be going home earlier a lot more. As messed up and sad as it was he didn't think _that _was too appealing.

He missed spending nights with Sam and seeing the gang on Fridays. But for the past few weeks he'd made it a note to _miss_ the dinners at Spencer and Lisa's with everyone.

Sam never brought it up but he knew that it was working its way to the surface; all he was waiting for was the day it would come up.

"Benson!" snapped Mr. Sanders, his balding head and round belly working their way over to him. "What took you so long? That kid we got workin' the camera has no clue what he's doing. Get over there and handle it!" with that said Mr. Sanders turned and headed down another hallway to yell at someone else.

Freddie shook his head and headed off to spend the rest of the day dealing with a bunch of amateurs and snippy actors

* * *

Across town Lisa Ward was churning out another masterpiece along side her man Spencer. They both were quite successful in their jobs and had a lot of free time on their hands between gigs.

"Spence," she started cutting out intricate shapes on a semi wet piece of clay.

"Huh?" he asked lifting up the protective shield over his face. He turned off the blowtorch in his hands and headed over to her.

"You know how I told you my sister has that job in Africa coming up?" she began, working her way toward the point of this conversation.

"Yeah you said that she was going to a village to help out with the famine there. What about it?" he plopped down across from her as she poked at a cut piece of clay.

"My niece is going to need somewhere to stay for a few months and—,"

"You want her to stay with us," he finished with a small smile.

"Are you okay with that?"

"I love little Kat, she's just like you," Spencer smiled as she looked up.

"I'm so glad 'cause I didn't want her going to stay with her other aunt, the one is a _nightmare_," Lisa cringed.

"We've got the time now where we can handle a kid," he assured her, "How old is she now?"

"Six, gonna be seven in a few months," Lisa smiled happily.

"That's a fun age,"

"How do you think the three amigos are gonna handle this?"

"Oh they'll be fine, besides we could get them to babysit a lot!" he laughed.

"I'm so glad you're on board with this, Spence. I thought you might have a problem with a little kid running around here."

"Did you forget that Carly was once a little kid?"

"Yeah but you were also pretty young,"

"What are you trying to say, I'm old or something?" he pretended to look hurt.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, you're in your forties now, you can't be chasing around a little kid," she joked, winking at him.

"You're hilarious," he deadpanned.

"I know," she grinned. "Hey, let's go get some food."

"Sure," he stood and followed her out of the studio.

* * *

Friday reared its ugly head and Sam couldn't seem to push herself out of bed. She had nowhere in particular to be but Carly was due back that day.

She faintly remembered that she promised that she'd pick up Mr. and Mrs. Shay from the airport. Freddie had left for work early that morning, promising that he'd return home early that night for their usual dinner at Spencer's.

Now that she actually thought about it, she had _a lot_ to get done that day. There was shopping, taking Hammy to the vet at ten and then going to get Carly and David at three that afternoon. After all of that she still had to get to the store and then head to Spencer and Lisa's to start dinner.

She always enjoyed cooking with Spencer, who was bursting with great food ideas.

Sam was also excited to have her best friend back; she missed her brunette buddy more than she realized she would.

"Let's go Hams we have a long day ahead of us," she told her dog who trotted after her as she headed for the door. He seemed to be doing a lot better, more of a bounce in his stubby legs.

* * *

**Panda Note:** This seems like a great place to end. I'll pick up on this same day in the next chapter, which hopefully will be just as long as this one. It's gonna be getting serious and probably sad, just warning you. Also I'd love to thank my dear friend Tammy—or Luna Moody, as you all know her. She's so amazing! You know what you've done Madame! Thanks for the ideas; you're ALWAYS in my head! Also I have the greatest beta in the world, she's brilliant and her name is Linda. I recommend you follow her on twitter, Eightyeightgirl.

I'll be posting this before Linda beta's the rest, she's done half of it already, and then I'll just go back and post the beta version. Leave me a review! I loves the reviews! If I get enough I'll try posting sooner! *wink wink*


	6. Chapter Five

**Panda Note:** What can I say, here's another chapter of Crane. I know a few of you are concerned with the direction of the fic but if I'm gonna do this story its gonna be from my awesome panda brain. That also means you gotta trust me and hold onto your seats! Reviews are definitely appreciated in this process, helps me want to write more, knowing you all are reading! Okay let's do this!

**Disclaimer:** Guess what! Nope I still don't own iCarly, but I do own a foxy Spencer…in my dreams, who flies me around in a helicopter, with his sexy long hair…..

**

* * *

Chapter Five**

"Wait, not there."

"But it's the perfect place, Sam."

"Oh, fine."

Spencer grinned at his strangely simple victory and placed the taco with Fettuccini Alfredo onto the platter. Sam had been dying to try out Spencer's creation with a different type of pasta for ages and thought Carly's return would be the perfect time.

The clock on the wall _moo-ed_ loudly as the final Alfredo taco was placed decoratively on the plate. It was seven at night and Freddie was supposed to show up an hour ago. She did her best to avoid showing her blatant disappointment.

Just as the clock's big hand worked its way toward the seven the front door opened and he walked in.

When had she become that woman who cares when someone arrives late or doesn't at all? Sam could remember a time when she could care less about where someone was. What made this time different? Was it because it just happened to be Freddie?

Whatever the reason she was quite annoyed with herself over the entire thing. Freddie had no real reason to _check in_ with her, she wasn't his wife. Part of her wondered if she would ever _be_, mainly because of how far away he seemed from her.

If this had been a few years ago she would have punched herself in the face for thinking any of it.

He walked over to her and places a kiss to her cheek, which she found herself wiping off with a look of disgust on her face, like always.

She was not in the mood for his random shows of affection, not after the news she received from the vet earlier that day.

_Don't think about that now, _she thought and shoved it off to the side for later.

Hammy hobbled into the kitchen in search of scraps that Sam would _accidentally_ drop on the floor. He knew better and munched happily on some of the noodles. Freddie always hated when she'd do that for Hammy, saying that he was going to gain weight with all the human food she gave him.

Of course Sam never paid any mind to Freddie and his prattling and did as she wished. It made Hammy happy.

"Sorry I'm so late, traffic was ridiculous out there," Freddie explain taking off his jacket and placing it onto the back of the free kitchen chair.

"Uh huh," Sam mumbled while she and Spencer finished up with the salad, chopping and slicing all the ingredients together.

Freddie looked up at her and raised an eyebrow but said nothing in reply.

Carly appeared then, coming down the stairs with her husband following behind.

"You guys are back!" Freddie said with a grin as he went over to hug both his friends.

"Obviously dill-weed," grumbled Sam.

She proceeded to place the platter of Alfredo tacos onto the kitchen table while Spencer brought the salad. Freddie frowned but let it go; it was obvious that she was back to normal, for the most part. He could tell though that something was on her mind that she wished not to share.

"Soups on!" cried Spencer dramatically, banging on a large pot.

"But you didn't make soup," commented Lisa.

"I could have…" he pouted.

"But you didn't," she smiled and shook her head.

Just as everyone made their way to the table Marissa and Roger walked in, lightly flushed and looking mildly embarrassed. No one commented or seemed to notice, except for Sam. She didn't want to know what they had been up to. It was best that she not think too much about her father with anyone let alone Mrs. Benson.

**

* * *

**

Hammy decided to go home with Freddie and Sam didn't mind so much, she needed some time alone. The rain had returned to Seattle in a rush and surprised all. Sam rolled the driver's side door down and allowed the rain to flow into her car. She knew that she would have to tell Freddie what she had learned from the vet soon, but it hurt too much to think about. As close as she and Freddie were there was nothing he could do for her at that moment. He couldn't evaporate the pain in her chest and she wasn't the type to fall into a man's arms the moment things got hairy. But he had the right to know that something was wrong, especially when it concerned Hammy.

Sam found herself parked at Roger's recording studio, not really knowing how she managed to get there. He wouldn't be there today, it was Friday and he closed up shop for their family dinners. Something about coming back here after so long stirred up memories of the times that she had run off to talk to her father, who had been a stranger at the time. It was amazing what a few years could do to a person. Part of her couldn't really remember what life was like without Roger in it. She could barely remember not liking the man at all. But somehow he had pushed himself into her life and rooted himself there, refusing to leave. For that she was eternally grateful.

With a sigh she decided it was time to head back home and face the music or avoid it at all costs.

**

* * *

**

Carly Shay would never call herself noisy or snoopy but this was a case she couldn't ignore. As she and David headed home she couldn't help but think back to their family dinner. Her two best friends were acting stranger than usual and it concerned her to no end. She might have noticed something off at her wedding but was far too distracted to dig deeper. She had been gone for a bit and had no idea what happened since she returned. Carly knew the ins and outs of the couple and this wasn't their usual _thing_. Something happened; something drastic had changed the dynamic of the pair so much that they were oceans apart, even as they sat beside each other at the table.

She could remember Sam looking sad but covering up for everyone else. Carly knew her dear friend and could pick up on her mood changes. Her dear blond friend was most distressed about something and Carly didn't know how long she could pretend to not notice it.

David borrowed Spencer's car and drove the two home, leaving Carly to sit silently beside him. He hummed quietly to the music playing on the radio while Carly hummed a different tone in her head, one of worry and distress.

**

* * *

**

A week had passed since Carly's return and the media was abuzz about her recent return from her honeymoon. Sam sighed and switched over to her iPear. Being involved with the music industry and having a father who worked with a bunch of great bands; she had a vast collection of music. Lately she had been blasting an old CD from 2010 by Avenged Sevenfold. As depressing as the tracks were to some extent she continued to bob her head and drum her fingers along to the beats.

She had just left work and was headed over the iCarly studio where they did their usual Friday night shows. Surprisingly she was going to be early, which was a new world record for her.

Sam had no idea what was going on with her lately, she was so withdrawn and depressed. Never in her life had she fallen this far, not even when her mother died.

The piano solo in 'Fiction', brought her back from her thoughts and she turned it up. It was a beautifully crafted song and one of her favorites. Their newer stuff was just as amazing but something about this album always got to her.

As she neared the parking lot to the iCarly studio, the song 'Buried Alive' began and she had to shut it off before the best part.

She passed by a few people and didn't give her usual greeting of 'heys' and other random things. Freddie was off near the dressing rooms with his clipboard in hand, headset around his neck. He scribbled down something and pointed to Frank the crew manager and gave an order while calling for Carly to get to make-up.

Sam found herself standing off to the side watching him work his magic and couldn't hide the smile slowly working its way on her lips.

"What are you lookin' at?" she snapped at a passerby who decided to give her a look. He scampered off and Sam could only roll her eyes. She couldn't just stand around admiring her man at work?

Almost as though he had supersonic hearing Freddie's head snapped up and turned toward her. She gave a nod of her head and sauntered over to him.

"You're here early?" he asked. He hadn't meant it as a question but it seemed to have exited his lips that way.

"It appears I am Fredwad," she scoffed and folded her arms over her chest.

"Then head over to wardrobe and get dressed then join Carly over at make-up, we've got half an hour before the show starts." he stated in his best professional tone. It always made her chuckle on the inside when he did that while they worked together.

"See ya later Freddicini," she walked away without another word.

Freddie watched her vanish around the narrow hallway and sighed. He hated seeing her so down in the dumps and knowing that he couldn't fix it. She had come home after their last family dinner and told him about the visit Hammy's vet. Hammy was nearing the end of his life and that there was a large tumor growing on his brain. The poor dog was in so much pain that the vet suggested that they put him down. Sam of course didn't have the heart to just sentence her companion so the doctor gave her something to help him with the pain.

Freddie knew that eventually Sam would accept their Hammy's fate and go through with it despite how much it would hurt her. One thing that Freddie Benson was sure of; Sam Puckett loved her dog and would do anything to ease his pain.

"Benson?" someone called and he looked up.

Tiffany Locke, the lighting coordinator was standing before him.

"Oh hey Tiffany," he said blinking a few times.

"We've got the stage ready to go, the sound goons upstairs are taking a bit longer," she rolled her eyes.

"I'll have a word with Carl," he promised.

"Thanks," she grinned and wandered off.

Shaking his head he walked along the back of the stage and up a flight of stairs.

Sam threw a bunch of the clothing that the wardrobe team had put in her extensive closet for the show. She couldn't for the life of it all, understand the point of putting her in these outfits, as if she were still that teenage girl who dressed like a boy. Granted, she did dress comfortably in her womanly body, she also discovered ways to be comfortable and look like a stone cold fox, as she liked to think.

As much as she wished she could get out of working on the show, Sam couldn't do that to Carly, who had practically begged her to stay on after they had the second writer's strike two years previous. It required her to actually be apart of the writing process rather than having Carly meet with the other writer's on Sunday.

It wasn't as though she hated what they did or who she worked with, but doing it for most of their lives was dragging her down. She was tied to the show and couldn't make big plans to take a trip out of the country for months on end, if she wanted to. Carly had this hold on her, worst yet the woman knew it.

Tossing a few more shirts over her shoulder, Sam came upon something she hadn't seen in years buried in the back of the closet. It was far too small for her to fit in since she was no longer a fourteen year old girl, but it did bring a smile to her face.

Coffee Noodles.

She must have been sitting there for a while reminiscing over this lost shirt because Freddie's familiar knock brought her out of her haze.

"Sam? The show starts in ten minutes, you ready?" his voice called through the door.

For a moment she fell silent, eyes fixated on the yellow shirt in her hands.

"Uh…almost, I'll be there in a minute," she replied with a bit of hesitation laced into her words.

"…Alright," Freddie said slightly confused. He hadn't heard that tone in years, it worried him even more.

She heard his footsteps head off down the hall until they disappeared completely.

* * *

Monday had crept in without anyone realizing it and Sam found herself up before the sun for work. She couldn't wait until the wedding rush ended and she could go back to her normal hours. Being apart of the process of a wedding was killing her, she didn't need the reminder. With the way that Freddie had been acting lately she wondered how serious he had been about his proposal.

The bed beside her was empty and she frowned, much like she had over the past few mornings. Sam thought for sure that things were back to normal, that they were back to normal. But the cold sheets beside her spoke volumes. It was far too early for him to be off working and he never once mentioned it over their weekend together. She found that a smile started to appear as she thought about the other night with Freddie. The intense and passionate night that would be engraved in her mind for a while.

Shaking it off she got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom to start the day.

After a shower and a much needed Ham sandwich Sam took a tired Hammy over to the sitters across the hall. It was a nice thought to know that he had a little friend just like himself to be with while she and Freddie worked.

Pushing away what she'd learned recently she headed off to work, hoping that they didn't have any more disasters like the past week.

**

* * *

Panda Note:** You finished! Well this was super short, by my standards anyways but I thought this would be a great place to stop and then pick up on a different part next chapter. I'm just putting this warning out there to you guys, things are gonna be getting all sorts of crazy soon. I thought this was gonna be a short story but I think that it'll be a lot longer, if I want all the stuff that I planned on. I'm really putting Sam through the ringer huh? This is just the beginning! Please leave me a review kind reader :D


	7. Chapter Six

**Panda Note:** So its been ages and I am hoping to bring this one back and finish it once and for all. I apologize greatly for lack of…story. Yes that's it!

**Chapter Six**

* * *

Sam couldn't remember a time when she had really enjoyed what she was doing, it seemed so long ago. As she stood in the beautifully built kitchen, gripping her apron covered in her famous cheese sauce and watched with dismay as one of the senior chef's ran past, hat aflame, it all seemed to run in slow motion. Happiness didn't live here anymore, she thought.

She could feel the squishiness of the sauce run from her fist onto the tile floor and the rest in her hair and on her face. It was moments like this that she wished to quit and never return.

With the disaster commencing in her once glorious kitchen at work, she concluded that it was time to clock out an let others with more sanity attempt fixing the mess that a third party had created.

The drive home was filled with sounds from her opened windows, the rush of traffic, beeping, rubber against asphalt, droplets of rain hitting metal. It all seemed to be on a different wavelength to Sam as she found her car heading on the 99, headed north.

It wasn't until she was parked outside of Freddie's job that she snapped out of her haze. She hadn't intended to end up here at his place of work, midday, hours before he was due to get off work, yet there she was. Maybe it was her brains way of letting her know that she probably needed to see his face and hear his voice, just to make the day a little bright, though she wouldn't dare let him or anyone for that matter know of this.

It wasn't until she had passed security that she realized what a mess she was. She wasn't well known for putting too much stock in what anyone thought of her or her appearance, but at that moment as she stood in the hallway she felt nasty. Just as she was about to turn back and head home for a much needed shower Freddie's fluff of hair caught her eye.

He was leaning against someone's desk off to the left side of the set chatting rather animatedly with a cute red-head. Her hand would find its way on Freddie's shoulder, pushing it playfully—flirtatiously.

Old Sam would have walked right over and pushed the girl down and reclaimed what was hers, this Sam—older and deflated—just stood by, slumped over, dripping with cheese sauce and messy hair, watching as her boyfriend flirted right back with the overly attractive young woman. It should have caused something to spark inside of the blond to see him this way—actually being himself with someone else—someone who was not her. But all she felt at that moment was defeat.

With a heavy sigh she turned on her heal and sluggishly headed back to their apartment to shower and think.

The apartment felt even emptier than it had in months.

Sam stood in front of the closed door and looked around their apartment, taking in the memories that had been made there. Her eyes first land on a painting sitting off on the far wall near the kitchen. She chuckles bitterly as the memory of how it had received the holes in the bottom half.

They had just moved in, after living in Boston for school. This had been the first place to catch their eye once returning to Seattle. They didn't have too much to fill it, even from their old apartment in Boston, so Freddie had made it his personal mission to bring something home from work, they could do that apparently—to give their new home some character. The first thing that he had brought back was a painting of Meg Ryan that someone at the office had done during the filming of Sleepless In Seattle. For some reason they both had agreed to hang it in the kitchen.

At the time the two had thought it would be fun to play darts, using the painting as a target. That night not only was the painting ruined but Freddie had managed to get a dart stuck in his arm and they spent their first night back in Seattle in the ER.

The much older Sam sighed and ran her fingers over the punctured painting. Looking about the apartment only caused more sighing, more memories of their happy years together. She felt too old for someone so young.

Looking at all the pictures of them through the years only added to that old feeling. Seeing their smiling, youthful faces made her wonder for a moment if even then, did he want to remain with her forever or was it an act?

Shaking away those thoughts, she berated herself for allowing them to even come forth. Of course Freddie wanted to be with her, of course he loved her. She knew this without a doubt, but then what was causing suck strange changes with him.

Touching an old photo she couldn't help but wish for that moment. The two only the age of four sitting on the beach together with a bucket and a shovel and smiling. Though she faintly remembered the stories of that day, of her taking the shovel and pouring massive amounts of sand down the back of his pants. His mother was apparently not too pleased by this.

With a heavy heart she headed off to take a much needed shower.

* * *

During the night Sam gave up hope that Freddie was coming home and turned over towards his pillow. It was almost two in the morning and she couldn't help the images that were flowing. Freddie kissing that red-head, touching her, her touching him. It made her physically sick to think of anyone else touching him and him allowing it to happen.

It wasn't until three o'clock rolled around that she heard the key push through the lock. Part of Sam didn't want to see him then, after all the thoughts that had flown through her mind over the past few hours.

Twenty minutes later their bedroom door opens and Freddie creeps in silently, though not silently enough. She listens unmoving as he undresses, goes into the bathroom and then returns, to crawl into bed beside her and lay unmoving.

This time she refuses to move from her position on her side of the bed, doesn't break from her fake slumber. He knows she's faking it by the stiffness in her body and the way she's breathing, but he doesn't say anything.

They both lay on their own sides of the bed, as if there is an entire ocean between them.

Sam was the first to wake up the next morning, Freddie still fast asleep on his side of the bed. She stood there a moment and watched him and internally hoped that he hadn't done anything unfaithful the night before. Just thinking it made her sick and ashamed that she could think such things about him.

Shuffling out of their bedroom after a shower and getting dressed, she took Hammy, who had slept most of the day before due to his medication, over to the neighbors.

Their neighbor was a sweet woman and seemed to enjoy having Hammy crash at her place, to keep her Corgi company.

* * *

About a week later, across Seattle Spencer found his home occupied with a six year old girl named Kat. She eyed him much like she always did when she visited them, though this time she was really working something out in her mind. It wasn't until Lisa walked in with her bags that she snapped out of it and pulled at the hem of his t-shirt.

"Are you my uncle?"

Spencer looked up from the little girl to Lisa who seemed slightly amused by this question.

"I suppose I am, kiddo."

She seemed satisfied by this answer and headed to the kitchen to find a snack.

"That was interesting," Lisa commented pressing the overly pink briefcases into his lanky arms.

"Yeah…interesting."

He seemed to work in autopilot as he set up Carly's old room for Kat. The entire time the word seemed to fiddle around in his poor brain. It was an innocent question. Yet it felt as if it had awakened something else, something he hadn't even put thought to until this moment.

He should be her uncle, officially.

Here he was with an amazing woman like Lisa for god knows how long and he never once thought to marry her. It wasn't as though the thought scared him or that he wasn't the type to get hitched, really it wasn't that at all! But it seemed that even the notion had swam around upstairs for a moment. He'd always seen himself one lucky bastard but it never occurred to him that he might actually want it.

He wanted it more than he could realize, then.

It wasn't until Lisa appeared before him did he realize how long he had been sitting on Carly's old bed thinking.

"Hey there Spence, you okay?"

She sat down beside him and leaned her left shoulder into his right, he could feel all her warmth surround him.

"I'm better than okay actually, everything makes so much sense,"

Lisa couldn't help but be amused by her dear boyfriends look of clarity. Something had happened to him that seemed to have blown his mind out of the water, it was quite refreshing.

"Care to share?" she bobbed her head from side to side, much like Kat did when she was in a good mood or trying to get your attention.

The former MMA fighter wasn't sure what was coming, mainly because of Spencer's idea of serious consisted of running out of milk or finding an ingrown hair on his butt. Yet something about the way his eyes were looking into hers at that moment said it all. It was like he was looking at her for the first time and she was by far the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. It made her skin tickle and itch.

"Well," he started, bringing his hand up to brush at her cheek with the tips of his long fingers, "how is it that I never once asked you to marry me?"

That wasn't what she had expected at all.

To be honest she never gave it a single thought until now.

It just seemed that they were together in every sense, except for legally.

All these thoughts started to form then, what if something happened to either of them, she didn't really have a lot of family left, except for the small one she had gained with Spencer. Carly was like her little sister and Sam was like her daughter, though she wouldn't say that to anyone. Even the Bensons and Sam's dad were her family, as dysfunctional as they could be at times.

He kissed her then and every worry in the world flew out.

She would marry this man, it was decided.

"Oooow!" came a voice from the doorway, "You guys are sharing coodies!" laughed Kat as she giggled behind her little hands.

Since it was Friday and a general rule, the whole family got together for dinner after the taping of iCarly. The trio arrived at Spencer and .Lisa's at nine that evening and found a cute blond girl on the couch watching some horrible Dingo show. She looked up and squealed upon seeing them. Carly had met her twice before but only for a moment or two. From what Spencer had shared with Carly, Kat—Lisa's six year old niece—was a fan of their kids hour of iCarly that they did online.

"I'm Kat!" she yelled up at the three.

Freddie smiled, though he felt increasingly uncomfortable standing in front of her, having her look up at him. It wasn't as though he were responsible for the girl, yet he felt automatically in that position. Kids rarely liked him, so it was strange to have this little girl attached to his hip. She followed him around the house and on the couch, where she practically talked his ear off.

It was endearing to say the least.

It also gave him an excuse to not have to speak to anyone else, especially Carly who was lurking about. She had called him three days before and had given him an earful before hanging up. He knew that Sam had told Carly something that had upset her. The what he wasn't so sure about. He figured it was his attitude as of late, with Sam. It had to be that.

It was clear that Sam had, had enough of Freddie's nonsense and had left to stay with Roger for a few days until she could calm down enough to be in the same house as him. It didn't help that they had to film the show that night but even then she didn't speak with him unless she had to, but even then it was clipped and closed off.

Even though he knew quite clearly he was in the wrong, he just couldn't muster up the guts to just explain himself to her. It should be the simplest thing to do, to be honest with the woman he loves, to fix their relationship that he seemed to be ruining all on his own.

After dinner everyone gathered around the big screen TV that Spencer was so proud of and watched some movie about a good vampire who is misunderstood by people eat his school, Freddie didn't pay too much attention to it. Kat of course kept talking in his ear and he was surprised by how it didn't bother him. She even curled up beside him and disappeared under his arm.

With the movie ending and everyone saying their goodbyes, Freddie found himself with a sleeping child. Even Sam seemed to vanish from the apartment. Lisa came over to him then and lifted Kat to take her upstairs to bed.

This left Spencer and Freddie all alone.

"I think we need to have a talk Freddo," said Spencer, flopping down on the couch and throwing his arm around the younger man.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes, its overdue."

* * *

**Panda Note:** So how was that? What's Spencer gonna say? Will Freddie get a grip? I sure hope so! I'll try to write more soon, yell at me if I take too long this time around.

REVIEW! Go!


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Spencer Shay had known Freddie Benson since he was a child. The man sitting across from him was not a child any longer. That meant that he could no longer give child-like advice and sugar coat the facts. Sam was like his own little sister and whatever was happening, Spencer knew it needed to be taken care of. He can still remember signing the adoption papers all those years ago, tying Sam to his family. He could still remember all the pain that Sam had gone through while in his care. He had made a promise during those days that he would do whatever he could to protect her. He hadn't lived up to that promise as of late and it was about time that he did.

Looking at the younger boy Spencer could tell that what's been happening has affected him as well. The older man tried his best to be neutral about the situation at hand but his protectiveness for Sam was bleeding through. Somehow he thought that all those dark days had come to an end. The trios had grown up, gone to college, got real jobs and were starting their lives together.

"Tell me what's been happening Freddie," started Spencer.

Freddie fiddled with his hands for a second and tried to grasp at words before a few floated over him.

"It's all my fault," he started. "I caused this mess and I don't know how to undo it."

"What did you do?"

"I asked Sam to marry me,"

"You've been doing that for a while now, so what, she said yes this time?"

This was something new to Spencer. Sam always told Freddie 'no' even though he always thought the two should tie the knot.

"Spencer, I messed up everything," the younger man sighed, slumping farther into the couch. "I went from being so excited about starting a new chapter with Sam to having her staying at her dad's house. I know that she can feel that something is wrong and it's because I don't know how to talk to her about this."

"What seems to be the problem? Start from the beginning Freddo."

Freddie took in a breath and began his tale of the past few months and what's been on his mind. About how scared he had become over it, how regretful he felt for asking without being sure, about Sam wanting to be a mother and him not wanting to be a father, mainly because he didn't think he would be good at it. As the young man sat there and poured his heart out to his longtime friend he could feel some of the stress coming undone from his body.

"It sounds like you know exactly how to explain yourself, now you just need to go talk to Sam. She's a smart girl and will understand to some extent where you are coming from. But Freddo, you should have been honest from the beginning. Sam's got it in her head that you've finally realized that you made a mistake and want to leave her for another girl."

"What?" he snapped, almost jumping off the couch. "Why would she think that?"

"She's always thought that, even while you guys were dating. I think she's been on standby for a long time, waiting for the day when you meet someone more like you. Sam's always thought that you deserved that much, even though it would be hard for her to give you up."

"I thought that by now she would have realized that I'm not going anywhere."

"Well kiddo with the direction that your relationship has gone," stated Spencer. "It's not as though Sam asked you to propose. She was fine with how things were. But having that aspect of the relationship put up it led her to think about your guys' future. Kids are inevitable and not always terrible, as I recall from having all you guys running around my house all those years."

Freddie was surprised by everything that Spencer had to say, it definitely made sense.

* * *

Carly paced back and forth in Roger's apartment as Sam continued on explaining what's been going on while she's been gone. At first Sam had decided to just keep it to herself and just try to figure out how to fix it. Part of her had also wondered if she had the ability to actually fix the situation she was in. When had she become _that_ girl? She couldn't pull forth a time that she was cut off from someone she actually loved. In all herself doubt and uncertainty she knew that she loved Freddie Benson. She even strived to become Samantha Benson at some point. But as time dragged on and with the purposeful distance placed between her and Freddie, it was become clearer to her that it might never happen.

One thing was for sure though, her brunette best friend standing before her wasn't too happy about what had happened.

"So let me get this straight, he's been coming home late, pretending to be working long hours and when you went to his work he was blatantly flirting with an attractive woman?"

"That's not all," Sam mumbled, completely deflated.

"What else could there be?"

"Before your wedding Freddie asked me to marry him,"

"Like he does every week?" at this point Carly had decided to take a seat.

"I said yes this time though. It felt like the right time, I don't know, I just thought that we were ready. I felt so ready, Carls. I saw this whole future suddenly and I wanted it so much. I never allow myself to think past a few days and there I was seeing me and Freddie with a few kids and a house and going on vacations together and watching our kids start kindergarten. I felt so much love for people that don't even exist. I feel as though this is where my life is supposed to be, with Freddie. Now it feels like he's slipping away and I don't know what I said or did to have this happen."

"Sam, you did nothing wrong. Something is obviously wrong with that boy and once I get my hands on him—"

For once it was Carly Shay promising violence and Sam Puckett sitting on the sidelines. It was almost like they had switched bodies.

"No Carls, it'll be worked out somehow. I'm giving him time to figure his stuff out and I'm sure he'll be over once he does."

Carly stayed silent for a second and took in what Sam had just said. How had things got to this point where Sam was completely defeated? It was like her best friend had checked out early and had given up. Never in her life could Carly say she's seen Sam this crestfallen, this punctured. It was so disenchanting to see a love—in Carly's opinion—go through so much only to end like this. In her heart of hearts she refused to believe this, because she had so much faith in the couple that it was impossible to see them without the each other. Freddie fought so hard to get Sam to be with him that it seemed almost foolish for him to be tossing it away without continuing to fight. Sam had finally given in completely, though Carly knew that Sam still doubted that Freddie would stay with her forever. It was a known fact that Sam has always placed up guards in the likely chance that Freddie did meet someone else. For some reason unbeknownst to Carly, Sam was convinced that she wasn't the right girl for Freddie.

Deep inside Carly felt that one couldn't exist without the other at this point.

"He'll come," stated Sam hugging a pillow off the couch. "He will."

Carly hoped that Sam's faith continued and that Freddie would show.

* * *

**Panda Note:** SUPER short chapter. I just needed to give you guys something. I need to edit the whole story a bit before I can really write more. I feel like there's a lot being left out that would make this story better. I read Birdhouse and I felt like someone else had written it, yet I knew I had. It was so fun to read and so moving at points. When I read Crane it felt disconnected. I think part of it is that I wrote it a few years ago and I've gone through my own romance troubles that it's given me insight more so now than ever. I think from this point I'll be putting more feeling into the story. I also want to apologize for being away. But I should tell you that if you send me a message or review or anything I receive them right away on my phone through email. Also I hope you all remember that I post updates on what's going on, on my profile so if you want to know if I plan to write anymore or if I quit any of my stories or just want to know what's going on, check there. I try to update a lot, so if I go MIA on this story again check on my page and see what's up.


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